#61 Journey of forgiveness
Inability to contextualize holds you back from forgiveness.
It’s easy to take things personally.
To feel hurt.
To feel like it’s your fault.
To feel like you’re not good enough.
Especially when you are left without an explanation.
Or when they get defensive to what you’ve expressed.
Or when they apologize but nothing changes in their behavior.
Or when they have the audacity to blame you for how you’re feeling.
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But life doesn’t always work the way we want it to.
Just because you speak up about it, doesn’t mean it guarantees the change you want.
But, at least there’s a chance if you do.
If you don’t, you can be 100% sure nothing will ever change.
Because noone can read minds.
(except maybe Edward Cullen from Twilight)…
Sometimes, it’s up to YOU to start and continue on our own healing journey.
Sometimes, the other person is not going to give you the closure you want.
Sometimes, it’s up to you, to be able to, contextualize the situation, from the hurt and to understand perhaps, they did what they thought was best.
That was what I had to when I started speaking up to my parents.
I was left feeling hurt, angry, resentful, dissapointed and broken.
But at the same time, until I made the decision to forgive my parents for what I lacked growing up, I could not rebuild and repair my relationship with them.
I had to take accountability for what I can control.
You can read or watch or listen to it here.
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Recontextualize the HURT & the SITUATION:
They tried the best they can.
They couldn’t give me what they cannot give themselves.
They don’t understand what I need because I never vocalized it.
I enabled the situation and allowed it to keep happening because I felt hurt and scared…
but I will no longer allow myself to be in that victim mindset.
I will take control.
Because ultimately, whatever hurt we face and feel in life…
We have the power to reframe it to our advantage.
To see what we learn.
To see it as a lesson rather than a blueprint for our life.
To see what we need to be aware of moving forward.
TO see what we can improve on, whether it’s our communication, our articulation or our tendency to avoid/hover.
That’s what life is.
That’s what being human is all about.
To feel a full range of human emotions.
To understand it.
To be curious about it.
To be aware of what our triggers are.
To heal from it, by recontexualizing.
By staying the fuck away from certain people who hurt us.
By focusing on yourself and building yourself UP to be the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
By harnessing the power, time, attention you used to give to other people to yourself.
Take care of your mind and body.
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A takeaway for you from this letter:
Until you decide to forgive, let go of the resentment you have towards the hurt you have towards (whoever) by learning to re-contextualize, it will be difficult to truly connect deeply with anyone.
Because resentment is a poison that festers in the mind and in the way you show up in your life & relationships.
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That’s it for this newsletter.
Let’s end 2024 with a bang, get started here with your self improvement journey if you have been thinking about it.
Here’s a discount code, SELFIMPROVEMENT, ($15 off), if you want to book in your session, expires November 30th, 2024.
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