#56 Why you need to know yourself
To protect yourself from being easily swayed by others & "shoulds".
The most dangerous thing about living, is not knowing yourself.
Because then you are a blank canvas that is subjected to being molded and painted according to other’s opinions, ideas, expectations, goals on how they think you “should” live.
It’s scary when you see people around you progressing into different stages of life.
But at the same time, true self love comes from accepting where you are at.
Accepting that you are on a different path.
Being on a different path doesn’t mean you’re behind.
Life is not a competition.
Some of us reach milestones later, but it’s all part of the universe’s plan for us.
I’m a believer that sometimes the more you want something the more you don’t get it.
Because there is still a lesson to be learnt before you get it.
Or sometimes not getting it is the universe’s way of protecting you from it.
Some of us don’t learn to love fully until we have been shown how.
Some of us don’t learn to commit until see the downsides of having causal relationships.
Some of us don’t learn to prioritze ourselves until we get burned by extreme stress, burnout or an illness that we then finally realize we have to take care of our mind and body.
Some of us don’t learn to communicate openly until we try it and it goes well and we don’t get lash backs from the receiver.
Some of us don’t learn to let go until we have been so disappointed that we have no more expectations towards someone and learn to focus on ourselves instead.
“Chaos gives you clarity, in a way peace never could. With the wrong mindset I initially thought these situations as curses, now I see them as opportunities.” - Tim Dennings
In the last letter, we talked about gamifying your life, seeing life’s challenges as levels to get through to fight the next boss.
Because it’s happening “for” you, not “to you, to help you grow.
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Society is very good at telling us what to do, but never once, did they teach you to evaluate and think if that is something you truly want.
They tell you that you should get a house.
They tell you you should get married.
They tell you you should have kids.
They tell you you should be married by now, because you’re “running” out of time.
But the truth is, it’s bullshit.
Social media, societal and cultural expectations all make you think you have to follow “this timeline”.
And yes, there is some truth to it, but at the same time, you shouldn’t let it rush you to the state of desperation.
It’s better to marry late than to marry the wrong person.
It’s better to have kids later than to rush into it when you’re not mentally, physically, financially ready.
It’s better to buy a house when you are ready for the monthly repayments and other associated costs that will take a huge part of your monthly pay and have you sacrifice your lifestyle.
Nothing is worse than living a life of what you think you should do rather than what you truly wanted for yourself.
Because when you are deep into it, you underestimated how hard it will be.
So that is why knowing yourself is crucial.
So when the hard times come in the choice you made, you are prepared and ready to push through it because you know in your heart you do it because you want to.
Not because you were “told” to want it.
Not because of shoulds.
“It’s one where other humans can’t infect your brain with their comments, rejections, opinions and values. It’s one where those things are turned off and is not even on your radar.” - Tim Dennings
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That’s it for this newsletter.
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Additional Resources For You:
Listen to my latest podcast episode of Eunice.Co on Spotify - I called my brother out Here.
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