#53 The black & white of life
"When the obstacle becomes the way forward." - Marcus Aurelius
When the obstacle becomes the way forward." - Marcus Aurelius
A mentor of mine shared this with me last friday when I consulted him about how to improve my public speaking skills.
He shared this quote with me in the context of having ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder).
The fact that in most context, it is seen as a pathology, a problem, a disorder, an illness.
But it can actually be a superpower, a gift, when leveraged.
That was what he wanted to communicated to teachers and students in his work.
He does workshops and give talks at schools.
He’s an excellent public speaker, you can check him out here.
Thank you Nick.
He said, “Asking questions can be seen as a problem in school, but in life, it is about having curiosity to understand.”
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Just in that short sentence, I was mind blown.
Working together can be seen as stealing each other’s work in school, but in life, it is about people coming together as a team to innovate and solve real world problems together to make things work.
It saddens me that the education system often dismisses any signs of differences as a weakness.
What can be reframed as a gift, a strength, is dimmed down as a limitation because it cannot be catered to.
Because it’s different.
Because it’s hard to understand.
Because it slows people down.
Rather than taking the time to understand…
But that’s not what we are here to talk about in this Newsletter.
My quick reframe here before we move on is, don’t be so quick to shut down your flaws, learn to leverage it and see if you can take advantage of it to your own favor.
If Nick can come to embrace his ADHD, accept it, love it and learn to leverage it, then so can you with your other abilities.
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Every obstacle in your life gives you a takeaway.
But when we are in the midst of the pain and emotions, it’s hard for us to identify and take it in.
Because we can’t deny and suppress our feelings forever.
It always comes back stronger to haunt us if we don’t face it head on.
The role of emotions isn’t to be shut down…
Bur rather, to tune into them and understand them.
Listen to them.
So you can learn to process your own emotions with time, clarity.
So you can articulate what you are thinking and feeling without having the heightened emotions consume your words, your communication…
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Every obstacle in your life gives you a takeaway.
Heartbreak gives you pain, but it also gives you the ability to self-reflect on how to approach future relationships better in a different way.
Failure gives you temporary embarrassment, but it also gives you areas to improve on and not to take feedback on personally.
Betrayal gives you heartbreak, but it also teaches you to set better boundaries and see people for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Death of a loved on gives you grief, but it also teaches you to live in the moment, cherish the present and the time you have with your loved ones.
Loss of anything gives you pain and helplessness, but it also teaches you to accept, acknowledge that you cannot control everything in life and to flow with it instead.
Success gives you glory, euphoria but it also teaches you to be humble, don’t inflate your ego that you become a dickhead and keep it in check.
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So when shit happens, don’t be tempted to give into the negativity of it all and be consumed by it.
Try to see the bigger picture of what it’s teaching you.
Pain always teaches us more than joy ever will.
It’s just how it works.
But by reframing and training your mind to see this perspective, you change your whole life moving forward.
That is the power of self improvement and mindset shifts.
That’s it for this newsletter.
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