You set yourself free when you learn to let go.
You liberate yourself when you accept life for what it is rather than what you expect it to be.
You perspective shifts when you learn to reframe rejection as the universe’s way of guiding you towards something better.
Thank you for being here, now let me share with you the glorious freedom I’ve found in acceptance & letting go.
A deep dive into it all.
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These are the most powerful lessons in life - So why should you care?
Because it’s applicable to everything, life, relationships, health, wealth, work and friendships.
The art of letting go & acceptance is a skill.
You won’t be able to understand it until you encounter an experience in life where you cannot do anything to change it.
Like chronic pain, a sports injury or losing someone you love.
All are situations I have experienced that have crippled me but… since then made me more wise and taught me the immense value of acceptance & letting go.
There are no words to describe the pain you feel from those experiences, I would not wish it on anyone.
But the irony here is, I don’r regret going through them, because I would not be who I am today without it.
It would remove my empathy, my understanding, my wisdom on how to cope in future instances when it happens again (which it will because it is inevitable, life is full of ups and downs).
Life teaches you the most wisdom when you are at your rock bottom, your most vulnerable.
The feelings of helplessness cripples your entire being.
You go into self-loathing mode.
You blame yourself.
You feel powerless.
You retreat, avoid and withdraw from everyone.
But once you are in that state long enough, you know you cannot keep living like this.
You realize your expectations of how you expect and want life to be isn’t matching reality.
That is the danger of our expectations and assumptions, you can read it here.
Because being in that state long enough, something starts to click.
You slowly reach a new level of understanding.
You sink long enough that you start to float and swim.
You see…Rock bottom humbles you, you form a new level of understanding of the situation you find yourself stuck in.
You form a higher sense of empathy for yourself and for the people you encounter in the future who have been in your shoes.
Here is a story.
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The Sports Injury that Crippled Me
Back in 2020, I had a sports injury in my groin, Sports Hernia. I could not exercise, run or jump or lift heavy things without my groin hurting.
I spent months in physical and mental agony and I resented and hated my body for failing me.
I cried endlessly everyday, seeing people being able to do what I could not only made me hate myself more.
I was beating myself up for an injury that my body had when I should be learning to love and show compassion towards myself.
Healing (physical and mental) takes time and its not a linear path.
Self loathing is painful. Hating your body for failing what you want to physically do is a different level of self-loathing.
The disconnection between your mind and body puts you in conflicting states.
But eventually, I grew tired and I started to accept that I could not exercise for the time being. It took me 8 months to accept that I cannot exercise the way I wanted to.
But as soon as I started to accept that, my mind eased.
I let go of who I was before this injury and the things I used to be able to do.
I told myself “You know what, let’s just be in pain today”.
“Instead of fighting with my mind and body, I’m okay with being miserable today”.
I let go of the expectations that I should be able to run, lift and jump.
I slowly adapted to this new reality.
I flowed and moved in a new way along with this injury and not be at war with it…but to be at peace with it instead.
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I slowly started to enjoy life again and see the things I can do instead of focusing on the things I can’t do.
I was relieving myself from my own shame, self hate and my expectations of “SHOULDS”.
That’s when I got a call from my doctor - for a second opinion. It’s funny how life works sometimes.
It’s as if the universe needed me to come to learn acceptance before giving me what I wanted.
That surgeon saved my life, he repaired my injury and gave me the chance to live, to move, to exercise again, without pain.
I look back with immense gratitude that I went through that in 2020.
It all comes down to acceptance and letting go of the expectation that I “SHOULD” be able to move.
There is freedom that comes from letting go.
There is liberation and joy that comes from acceptance.
You no longer feel like a victim in life.
You no longer feel like you are ruled by your expectations.
Dealing with rejection
Rejection stings. It hurts.
It feels personal.
It feels like our worth is being threatened.
Here is a story of being rejected and what I learned from it.
I applied for a private practice role before I created my business and quit my full time job.
The interview went extremely well, I connected well with the founder of the practice.
We talked, we related, we laughed.
She told me things that brushed my ego and made me feel I am everything she is looking for.
She admired my curiosity and interest in the business.
She told me she loved my ambition and my demeanour.
She told me there are opportunities here for me to step into.
A week later, I received an email saying I didn’t get the job.
I was in shock.
I spent the next few days crying, doubting myself, wondering why I wasn’t good enough.
I consulted my mum and she offered me words of wisdom - sometimes people can say things to make you feel like a million bucks, they can promise you the world.
You have to be mindful to check your ego and not fall into that trap.
Eventually I took it with a grain of salt. Mum was right, people can say things to make you feel like a million bucks but be wary of their intention.
After sometime, my partner at the time told me to call her and ask for feedback as to how I can improve and what I was lacking that didn’t get me the job.
I thought he was crazy at the time but he asked “what can you lose from calling? At least you will know what to do better next time”.
He was right, so I listened and it was one of the most brave things I did for myself.
Ultimately, it came down to inexperience, not because I was unworthy or not good enough like I feared.
She also said she appalled my courage to call her to ask for feedback and encouraged me to apply again once I gain more experience.
The takeaway lesson here is I’ve learnt to reframe it as a learning (interview) opportunity.
But MOST importantly, this rejection was making space for better things to come.
Learn to see it as the universe is protecting you from the things that are not right for you.
The universe gives you rejection to guide you in a new direction.
It is closing a door that is not meant for you but will lead to more open doors.
And it did. I ended up working for a progessive, creative psychology practice that aligns better with me personally and professionally.
It gave me tremendous opportunities to become who I am today, articulate, confident, audacious and brave.
“Movement in a new direction will help you find new cheese.“ - Spencer Johnson (Author of Who Moved My Cheese)
To wrap up:
Life teaches you the most wisdom when you are at your rock bottom
Rock bottom humbles you, you form a new level of understanding of the situation you find yourself stuck in.
Acceptance and letting go of what you cant control eases your mind and sets you free.
Flow with the changes life brings you, don’t be at war with it, be at peace with it instead.
Rejection is an opportunity to learn, it is also the universe’s way of making space for better things to come along in your life.
Once a door shuts, new doors will appear.
These are some of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in life so far. I hope wherever you are in life, it will give you a new perspective in viewing the challenges that life brings you.
Peace.
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That is it for this Newsletter.
Thank you for being here on this journey with me.
See you next week.
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#22 Podcast Episode: Rejection, Acceptance & Letting Go